Sunday, February 12, 2012

What do you do when you fall in love? (And the whole situation is seriously messed up!!!)

I met this girl last year, call her Audrey, through a friend (Beth), and I've kind of liked her since. When we first met, we ended up falling asleep on separate sides of my living room couch. Early that morning, I woke up an she we laying on my shoulder. I suggested that she (no the both of us) go lay down in my bed and she ran home to he live-in boyfriend.

A few weeks later, we to a party and we kissed a few times. I wasn't a big deal because I made out with six people that night, and even had sex with someone.

We've had this running joke (as I do with many of female friends) where I pretend to be in love with her, she rejects me, and all of my other friends laugh. A good time is had by all. No big deal.

One night Audrey, Beth, and I got really drunk. Beth went down on Audrey and I had sex with her. Beth's girlfriend (Cathy) was there and not drunk and (understandably) got really freaked out about the whole situation. After the sex, we were cuddling and then Audrey's boyfriend drove over to pick her up, which really sucks because I wanted the cuddling even more that I wanted the sex. Cathy kicked me out I just stumbled home drunkenly.

The next morning, I started thinking that I could never be with anyone that would cheat on her boyfriend (pretty messed up, I know, because she cheated on him with me). Add that to the fact that I did not want her relationship to be in trouble, I decided to pretend I didn't remember what happened.

After a few weeks of denying that I remembered what happened, Audrey and I were at another party, where she forced me admit that we had sex because she wanted to make sure that I didn't have any STDs that she might pass along to her boyfriend. I assured her that she was the first and only person with whom I had ever had unprotected sex. She also went on about how she cares about him, but he spends so much time away that she often gets lonely. We were both pretty drunk that night and we kissed a few times. We also agreed to be "f*** buddies", but nothing has happened since.

I had never met her boyfriend and I had planned to keep it that way, since it would be hurtful to him and to their relationship. This is a real possibility since Beth at least two people about how we had sex that night, and you know how stories travel...

Anyway I'm kind of seeing this new girl named Dawn. She has an great personality and she's really pretty. Her body is awesome. I think she likes me and I like her. This is probably the closest thing to a relationship that I've ever had. The other night, she threw a party, but it was just her and a bunch of her guy friends. I couldn't stand them all hitting on her all night, so I left to go to dinner with Audrey, Beth and a few other people. I didn't know that Audrey's boyfriend was going to be there, so we finally met, which sucked because now I can place a face to this man I betrayed.

Now here's where it starts to get really messed up. I was hanging out with Audrey and some other friends tonight. Audrey was stoned and I was drunk. She told me that she was so glad that I came with her because I'm "chill" and "cool to talk to" and that she didn't really like hanging out with the other people there.

We went back to her place, did some nitrous oxide with her roommates. Then I came home.

I bought some ecstasy the other day, left it in my wallet and forgot about it. I had two pills and they both broke inside of a small plastic baggy. I consumed what I estimated to be a single pill, started feeling good and then fell asleep. I suddenly woke up around 2 this morning, with the revelation that I'm in love with Audrey. I'm writing this at 3:19am.

Well, that's my messed up love story, so here are the question: Is this the drugs talking? Can ecstasy make you have feelings that aren't already there? Am I possibly in love with Audrey? Is Audrey possibly in love with me? Should I confront Audrey about this? Should I tell Dawn? Oh, and should I be angry at Beth?What do you do when you fall in love? (And the whole situation is seriously messed up!!!)firstly, when you are high on e you love everyone so i wouldnt worry about that. you dont love audrey, you lust her, as it seems every time you have been with her both of you are not sober, so there may be a sexual spark there, but there often is with someone you know you cant completely have. would you feel this way if she was single and it wasnt so exciting when stuff did happen between you?

Audrey shouldnt be leading you on when she already has a boyfriend, and it sounds to me that she is more concerned with him then you, sorry. Id try to avoid her at parties and perhaps try talking to her in the day when theres no drugs or alcohol involved and see how you feel then.

you have no reason at all to be mad at beth other then the fact you were involved in an issue that made her cheat on her girlfriend. it sounds to me like you have a pretty "skins" style lifestyle, and you should smarten your act up if you want audrey to ever take you seriously as she may just see you as some party going ho.

good luck :)What do you do when you fall in love? (And the whole situation is seriously messed up!!!)why does you let ur virginity walk away...What do you do when you fall in love? (And the whole situation is seriously messed up!!!)Well, first of all, that is pretty messed up. As for the questions, I don't know if it's the drugs talking but I don't think ecstasy can make you have feelings that aren't there. I think it just causes you to act on them more. I think you should talk to Audrey. Maybe even try talking to Audrey's friends. Be careful, Although it is possible that she has feelings for you, it could just make things weird between you. You shouldn't tell Dawn anything until you've talked to Audrey, because you don't want to ruin a good thing for no reason. Finally, I don't think you should be angry at Beth, but you should talk to her about keeping her mouth shut.

No comments:

Post a Comment