Ok, here's the story: there was this older woman that I used to work with about a year ago before I left for another job, she's 42, I'm 28. I was always attracted to her, she looked great for her age, but obviously I never did anything inappropriate and just chalked her up to a woman that I liked, but something that wouldn't amount to anything.
Anyway, I ran into her about 2 months ago out at a bar. We chatted, had a few drinks, and caught up with each other, etc. After awhile, she said that she was going to be blunt with me, that her apartment was only around the corner and that if I wanted, she would really like to go there and have sex just one time, no strings attached, no commitment, no calling the next day, just sex for the pleasure. I of course was all too willing to take her up on her offer.
Before we started, she aked me if she could go get a condom. I didn't want to wear one so I just kind of tried to ignore her, which in retrospect was stupid, I know. She didn't press the issue so we started having sex au naturale so to speak. Mid way through she asked me again if I would put on a condom. I just sort of said, come on, condoms take all the fun away, but I told her I would pull out before I came. I know that that isn't a real effective form of birth control but I figured that with her being 42, the risk of pregnancy was pretty low. I did pull out, and I told her that I would bring her the Plan-B morning after pill the next morning, which I also did.
So, with her being a bit older, me pulling out, and her taking the morning after pill, I figured that was that and we both would go on our merry way.
Well, she called me this morning and dropped the bomb and told me she's pregnant. She's 100% certain, and she's 100% sure it's mine since she said I was the only guys she's slept with in the last year.
Needless to say I was floored!! I aked her if she's calling me to give her money for an abortion but she seemed irked that I would even sugguest such a thing and that she is planning on keeping the baby!!!
So, we just sort of left it like that. So, what should I do!!! Having a love child after a 1 night stand with a 42 year old woman, when I'm 28 was NOT part of my life plan, but it looks like it's going to happen. I know I should have worn a condom but still, this is ridiculous!!!
Any advice about what I should do?|||Do you trust her? IF not get a paternity test. I would suggest it, An attractive older woman bluntly asks you to have no strings attached sex with her in a bar, She has TOTALLY had sex with more guys then you that year trust me! She is trying to trap you, and if she actually did take the morning after pill (which im sure she didn't) she would not be pregnant. Sorry dude good luck with this mess.
side note: you still should have worn a rubber dude.|||Wow. Good luck.|||Why's it so ridiculous? What didyou expect to happen?|||She asked you TWICE to put a condom on. You didn't respect her wishes then. Why should she respect yours now?? Guess you learned one heck of a lesson, huh??|||Simple, be a good daddy.|||nowadays you are lucky all you got is a baby out of it ! there are so many diseases out there including aids ! always wear a condom i guess would be your lesson learned from this . you need to talk to her and figure out what the plan is and what she is thinking of doing . moral of this story is you didn't wear a condom so you gave the chioce to her as to what she wants to do now and you have to deal with it|||You did the deed and now you have to live with the consequence. Your gonna be a Daddy and you need to step up to the plate. Pay child support at the very least but I sincerely hope you will be involved in the pregnancy and especially in your childs life. Learn from this, next time use a condom.|||Wow, that's a really tough situation. If you don't want to be too involved, pay child support and go about your business. But it's just as much--if not moreso--your responsibility since you refused to use protection. It is totally up to her if she wants to abort the child, but see if she wouldn't consider adoption.|||Well, it's your responsibility as much of it is hers. If you don't want any legal rights to this child, ask her if you can relinquish your rights once the baby is born. I would man up though, and be there for her during the pregnancy. You can still be a father to the baby even if you two aren't together. Your life won't end because you're having a baby. Guys have it a little easier because you don't have to be pregnant haha! I wouldn't be a dead beat and leave her hanging. I would ask her what you can do to help (not suggesting abortion again- that was dumb no offense). That's a touchy issue for a lot of women. Just try to be there for her and let her know that you will be a part of this child's life if she wants that, but it's up to her also. BE honest with her about how you feel. Good luck!|||I hoped you learned a lesson. I would ask for a paternity test and if the baby is yours then you have along road ahead of you. If you play with fire you will get burned. I know this may sound harsh but you knew the consequences.|||Just because you guys are going to have a baby doesn't mean you guys have to even be in a relationship. Just do your part and be a good father. If you're not ready for kids and want nothing to do with it, at least help the mom out with diapers and all of that stuff. Good luck. Keep us posted for sure.|||Well, what's done is done, I'm sure you'll learn from this. For right now, the only thing you can do is be supportive. Be willing to go to doctors appointments and birthing classes withi her. Let her know you're willing to be in the delivery room if she wants you there. This may not have been in you plans for the near future, but it looks as though you're going to be a daddy. Step up to the plate. :)
I do, however, think it is completely reasonable to ask for a paternity test. You are right, the likelihood of you getting her pregnant was small (not saying it's impossible though). I would recommend you request to have the testing done. Good luck!|||Well age doesn't matter...even tho she is older doesn't make her unable to get pregnant...u should have wore a condom...u cnt blame it on no one but urself...I'm not goin to be rude but I'm a mother to be and I would be pissed off if I was in her situation...just because of ur dumb mistake doesn't mean u should kill the baby...***my advice tho sweety....make sure she is pregnant with some proof...after u confirm that get ready to be a father..be there for her...even if u two decide not to be together help her out and be there for that baby, I know you hate this happen but u just gotta accept it...its already happend now n trust me when all is well u will love that child..n won't think of it as just a mess up anymore...good luck to u|||i know its hard but your going to have to own up to this. relize that this child is yours and its going to WANT YOU and NEED YOU. the best thing is to supprot her and the child. relize that even though you did'nt want this to happen it did. theres a reason why this happended besides the facts of age. condoms, pulling out and birth control. be the best you can be for this child and his/hers mother!|||i dont think its your kid. plan b is very effective if taken within 72 hours..and using the pullout method is better and theres a chance u didnt *** in her......anyways yea i dont think its ur kid. try to get a dna test when the child is born. sorry u had to go thru this|||Did she even take the morning after pill? She probably wanted to have a baby by you. You have to be careful who you stick your jimmy in. I really think that happens to a lot of guys cause they let pleasure take over their brain. If she don't want to get an abortion then just be there for your child. Every child needs their father. I truly understand she was a one night stand and she's way older than you. Just next time wear a condom. Good luck with everything. Also, please do a DNA test because it might just be a trick. She probably had sex with someone else and he probably left her or something. That's why she offered it to you like that. There are a lot of women out here that do that to good men.|||Well, instead of lecturing you about how stupid it was on your part not to wear a condom...
If she's already decided that she will raise the child, you have no other option than to be a part of the child's life. I understand that having a kid under these circumstances was not part of your life plan, and you'd much rather not have this responsibility in your life, but it's part of your life now. You HAVE to be there for this child. You don't necessarily have to be a big part of her life, other than being cordial with her since you two have/will have a child together, but you DO have to be there for this child. You're going to be a father now and you have to follow all of the responsibilities that come with that job.
Trust me, if you're not a part of this child's life, he/she will be deeply hurt and devastated by it. Not having a father in this child's life will permanently affect the way he/she views things and all of the relationships he/she will have in his/her life.
Being an active father in this child's life is the only thing you can do.|||Get a paternity test, she could easily be lying. If she's attractive and goes to bars offering unprotected one night stands (yeah she suggested a condom, she should have insisted) to men, there's a chance it's not yours at all.
If it is yours, well then you just have to take responsibility for what you've done. Yeah, we all mess up in life, sometimes badly. Also you should really get tested for STDs, especially since it seems unprotected sex is a favourite of yours.|||FIRST OF ALL GO TO THE DOCTORS WITH HER AND ASK IF ITS YOURS (you may never know)
AND SECOND IF ITS YOURS THEN YOU SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE OF WHAT YOU DID AND RAISE UR CHILD!! EVEN IF YOU DONT LOVE THE MOTHER
BE A MAN
LIKE MY MOTHER SAYS :YOU WERE MAN ENOuGH TO HAVE SEX WITH HER N NOT WEAR CONDOM!!! NOW BE A MAN AND RAISE YOUR CHILD
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment