I lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?

3 weeks ago I made the BIGGEST mistake of my life. I just got out of a 8 month relationship and was a bit hurt. A week after i met this guy named Jason.



We ended up hanging out and he brought me to his friends appartment since his friend was having a party there. His friends apartment was really small. Eventually almost everyone at this party but me and this jason guy started smoking week, and crack and cigarettes of course. Eventually since there were no windows oppened the whole appartments air was like foggy. Like I could barely handle it. It was all full of so much smoke. I started feeling REALLY dizzy. When my friends called my cell and id answer they kept asking me "are you drunk or something." "are you high you sound really messed up". I wasnt even drinking though. I felt really weird though like lightheaded, dizzy and just overall not myself. I also was shaking even though i wasnt cold. I was extremely talkative and thats not like me cuz im normaly a bit shy.



Anyways eventually this jason and i guy left since i was sleeping at his place since we live about 45 minutes away and it was way to late to be driving home. Since i was a 19 year old virgin and saving myself for the one i was so sure that nothing would happen. Next thing you know i ended up loosing my virginity to him. I dont understand how i could of let that happen. The next morning i woke up feeling SUPER sick and had the worst stomach pains ever. The whole day even after i got home i honestly thought i was going to puke i felt horrible! The next morning i thought "OMG how could i of done this"



Now when i see this at school since we both go to the same college i cant even believe i did what i did with him. Im a shy, reserved girl thats not naive and he is the typical "bad boy" and you can tell hes no good by looking at him. I look at him and honestly i feel rapped. I will randomly throughout the day get flashbacks of what happened and i then get chills and feel sick to my stomach. I cant even watch romantic love scenes i just wanna scream. I feel so violated. I feel as though someone else was in my body for that night. I would of NEVER did that in my normal frame of mind. Im not that kinda girl i have shut down many guys and have self respect. I all of a sudden will remmeber the way he laughed and feel sick inside. I cant even look at him.

What do you think of this?

Thanks!I lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?OMG...i went through the exact same thing kind of. It made me feel sick to my stomach and i had so much self hate, it really took a troll on me honestly. The guy that i gave my virginity to turned out to be "a player"

and i just couldn't stand looking at him after wards and i relate to what you said about how could you be sooo stupid and should've known better. I had so many mixed emotions and i felt so dirty. But i just learned to live with it, some girls go through worst things. You can't undo what happened, the only thing you can do is not let it happen again. You live and you learn-so just learn from your mistakes. And as for the feeling of feeling violated, guilt and being rapped, you just have to take it day by day and tell yourself you made a mistake and no one is perfect. You were on a verge and very vulnerable(same as i was) because you were missing your ex so badly.

Your growing up alot of women and young women go through each day. Just don't let it bring you all the way down.

*As for him , just expect what happened and move on, when you see him act as if he isn't even there! don't even give him eye contact.I lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?
well i knew a girl that wanted to pass legislation that says, if a guy even manages to seduce you, then he dumps you the next day, you can press rape charges



but i say you and she just got PWNED!I lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?What is done , is done.Let it be , dont worry.You didnt wanna do it anyway and werent in a proper frame of mind.Now just see that it doesent happen ever again and only with Mr Right!
Aww I feel so bad for you, but things like this happen, just try to forget about it, maybe talk to someoneeeI lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?better try to forget..I knw its diificult ..try..thats the only way..I lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?
it was a bad experience of your life.. just forget about it and from next time ... do not trust any of the guy before he fully commit to u.
no one is gonna read all that gosh dang!I lost my virginity to a one night stand? What do you honestly think about all this?
girl don't feel so bad we all make mistakes we are not all dat perfect you know and plus you probably were curious u know and plus sex is geat
I think what you just posted is something you should keep to yourself instead of leaving yourself open to harsh criticism. Also notice everyone's replies? They're passing judgement on you without even knowing who you are, half of them don't even care. Cos its no ones business but your own.



My advice is to put it all behind you and move on with your life, we all learn from our mistakes.
I think you slept with this guy and the next day felt cheap and used. And now, rather than face the fact that you made a bad choice and used bad judgment, you want to blame him and you are trying to convince yourself that you were raped.



Just because you screwed up and used bad judgment doesn't give you the right to ruin this guy's life. Accept responsibility for your bad choice and bad judgment. Learn your lesson and move on, and stop blaming him for your mistake.
**** happens. its in the past and there's nothing you can do to change that fact.



all you can do is change your state of mind. so change it.
Ermmm "HO!!!"





Okay that's was just a joke in bad taste.



Well like what your girl friend friend above said, it's over..



DId u at least enjoy yourself????



Why is it that nice girls are always getting involved with jerks and players lol???



I think you need to forget about it and meet more guys. And meet someone burly so you can get him to kick Jason's ****, it would be quite easy, just tell this sob story again, use your feminine charms and stuff to ensnare other men and make them do your bidding, be in control, darn i shouldn't be telling ya this, but that's what women do ;)



I have little advice to offer,
u got a contact high from the second hand weed smoke, he definitely took advantage of u but u were all for it so it wasn't rape, what's done is done, it was a good effort u made it 19 yrs but hey nobody's perfect
Having the windows closed caused a drugged and smoky atmosphere--you got a "contact high" from secondhand smoke, and worse, it was different drugs mixed together. At least you don't blame him exclusively and realize that part of the responsibility is yours. He should maybe have stopped because you were so drugged, but few guys that age are that mature.

So you lost your virginity. Look on the bright side--it's a mistake you can't make twice. But go to the school counseling service and get this off your chest--right now it's festering because you're holding it inside.
i think you feel guilty and are trying to make it sound like he did something to you. Regret is a harsh thing but you need to forget and forgive yourself. It sounds like you are asking if you could have had a contact high (being around it and getting high) I suppose thats possible. but its no excuse for blaming only they guy. You put yourself in the predicament. To me you allowed yourself to go places where "shy, reserved, good girls" shouldnt be. You say he is the typical bad boy yet you go to parties with drugs and plan to sleep at his house. You also state you are not naive, so then you knew what you were doing. Im sorry you feel bad about what happened, its over and done with try to get over it and stop blaming anyone..it just happened.
First off, when they started doing all of that, that's just not a situation you want to be in in the first place, so you should've gotten out as soon as all of that was being brought out, or when it started getting "foggy" and whatnot.



Also, you probably had a contact high then obviously, and it's probably different for everyone, but whenever I had a contact high I was still in a decent state of mind to where rash decisions weren't made. Even if it was a decent drive, best bet would've just gone home regardless. I don't know this Jason guy at all, but if he seems like maybe he took advantage of the situation. I'm a guy and there are decent guys out there, but so many times I hear guys just taking advantage of situations like I said.



With that all said though, I feel extremely bad for you, I really do. I'm 20, haven't had sex yet, but I'm not saving myself for marriage. I just know that my first time will happen when it's supposed to...with someone I love at the least. For you to want to save yourself for your future life-long partner, it's just horrible that it had to get taken away in that manner.



And that's what I think I suppose?
First of all if you could tell that he was a bad boy what were you doing with him? Second of all the law states that sex without consent is called RAPE!!! So if you did not get consent and did not indulge in any of the illegal activities then yes you were raped. Send his *** to jail!!
The story sounds strange and has the basics of the rape drug used to get a bit of the girl no one can get. Now he's bragging to his group about the bit he pulled. typical ***. should be in jail but will just use other girls llike you and other guys think thats cool. This is more proof of the sick state of the world today. The fact is you need to watch who you go uot with and be careful as others will now see you as a easy mark. Take care and get help if you need it.
Okay. First of all.. Why are you doing crack?!?! that is the stupidest choice you can make! Don't do that again.



As for the guy.. it happens. Bad sex happens to a lot of us. You can't do anything about it now, except try to forget it. Move on with your life and hopefully you'll find someone to love who will you give you better time than this Jason character.



Just please stop smoking crack - it ruins peoples lives.
Sounds like a contact high unless someone slipped something in your drink. Trust me, you need to be careful who you hang out with. Just because you don't do the stupid things, those who do can influence you and bring you down. My advice, get some new friends.
i am sorry

- i am not sure 4 what-

most



u describe

-a night-

vague in detail



and ask

-strangers-

for opinions

-answers-

to what it is

-we think-

of this



it sounds

-as hellish-

as most

"1st times"

-- even those of willing --

and

romantic kinds



what matters

-not-

what any

here

think

-- except you --

you must decide

-- what is it you think --

as it is you

your life



your question

however

-rings-

sounds as though

the question

is actually

- more -

i may be wrong

but did you

want to know

??

if what your

- night was -

is not

consentual

-but possibly-

you were

-drugged-

--raped--

instead

-what i think-

is that in remorse

-regret-

you do not wish

-to be responsible-

4 a choice

-hastily thought out-

rashly acted

in hurt rejected

--rebound--

it sounds as if

the hazy feelings

the choices

--of entertainment--

the staying within

the room

while feeling

--woozy--

and such

on some level

-you wanted-

to feel the love

affection

--special--

and allowed

this to transpire



-- if --

though

you can

ask

--you--

did you say

-no-

or

-stop-

did you

have the ability 2

-if-

that is the case

--that is not something--

we can answer

-here-

only you can

-talk to a counselor-

describe the night

but in the end

--what is done is done--

it is to today

tomorrow

and what

you will do

-how will you allow-

this to mold guide u

-in anger-

hurt bitterness

--or--

to remind you

-- to not assume--

to take measures

-not stay with guys-

barely known

-and-

be there for

-that next friend-

who may fall prey

to her own

-poor choices-

and allow herself

to be

swayed



i am sorry

-u disliked-

experience

-a piece-

of what in future

-will have shaped you-

each twist

of the road

is what makes

-u the u that you are-

will be

-- i think of this --

whatever else

-you need to accept-

it happened

-take steps to prevent-

it happening again

let go of the hurt

-it's hard i know-

let go of the blame

-that one is fifty/fifty-



-what i think-

is it does not matter

what i think

or others here

-what you think-

and do

does



-what i think-

is now

you should pull

-thoughts memories-

back when they wander

and focus instead

on now

not then

on here

not behind

forward

-when you can-



if i could be of more

help

to erase the hurt

guilt and other remorse

-but-

it is how we deal with these

hurts moments

that defines

the great woman

-you are-

behind

-it all-

much luck
Even though you didnt use the drugs, but it was in the air and could affect you.

you have to be cautious about the people u choose to socialize with.

you also have to remember that if you have lost your bf, and u r hurt, the solution is not to hurry and get another bf just because u r hurt and afraid of loneliness. you have to learn how to deal with ur problems. you can get help thru counselling.

dont be afraid no man is the last man in the world and besides you are so young.

dont worry and dont blame urself. human being makes mistakes and gets experience.

try to get counselling.

you are a good person.

pray and be sure God is with you.

i included you in my prayers.